Two different kinds of help
A support group brings together people in similar situations to share concerns and learn how others have coped. The American Cancer Society (ACS) notes that some groups are led by professionals, such as social workers, psychologists or nurses, and others by cancer survivors. Groups may meet in person, online or by phone, and some focus on one type of cancer, one age group, or family members and caregivers.
Individual therapy is one-on-one time with a licensed mental health professional. ACS describes one-on-one counseling as a chance to focus on your own feelings and concerns, and as a good option for more private issues or more severe symptoms. Between the two sits group counseling: ACS explains that these groups are led by a counselor and have more structure than a typical support group.
There are in-between options as well. NCI notes that many organizations run peer support programs that pair you with one survivor who has had your type of cancer and is close to your age and background. The NCCN patient guide on distress also mentions shared medical visits, where several patients meet with a provider to talk in depth about cancer, and counseling that includes a partner, family member or caregiver. If neither a room full of strangers nor weekly therapy appeals to you, one of these may.
It also helps to know who does what. Social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists and chaplains each bring different training. Who Helps With the Emotional Side of Cancer? explains the differences.
What a support group can offer
The National Cancer Institute (NCI) says support groups can help people feel better, more hopeful and less alone, give them a chance to talk about and work through their feelings, and help with practical problems such as work or side effects. Some things a group does especially well:
- Showing you, without anyone having to say it, that your reactions are shared by others
- Passing along practical know-how, from which questions to ask at appointments to how others handled a return to work
- Offering a place to talk with people who will not be frightened by what you say
- Giving caregivers and family members their own room, separate from the patient
- Fitting a modest budget: NCI notes that many groups are free, though some charge a small fee
Groups also have limits. NCI points out that a support group is not right for everyone: some people do not like hearing about others' problems, and hearing a frightening story can stay with you. Time is shared, so you may not get to go deep into your own situation every week.
What individual therapy can offer
ACS lists ways one-on-one counseling can help, including learning to cope with changes in your life, handling transitions such as the end of treatment or a recurrence, dealing with family issues, and addressing concerns about intimacy and sexuality. Individual work tends to suit situations like these:
- What you are carrying feels too private to say in a room of people
- Cancer has stirred up older losses, family patterns or past trauma
- Fear, sadness or hopelessness has been heavy for weeks and is affecting daily life
- Your relationship or family is under strain and you want help thinking it through
- You want to move at your own pace, with sessions built around your concerns alone
A psychologist can also help you notice when distress has become something that needs more than conversation, and suggest that you talk with your doctor about medical options. Questions about medication, physical symptoms and treatment always belong with your medical team.
Questions to help you choose
- Am I mainly looking for company and practical tips, or for help understanding my own reactions?
- Would hearing other people's experiences comfort me, or worry me?
- Is there something I need to talk about that I would not share with a group?
- How much energy do I have for travel, and would an online or phone option work better?
- What can I afford, and what does my insurance cover?
- Is the distress affecting my sleep, work, relationships or ability to follow through with care?
If your answers point in both directions, that is common. A group may cover the need for connection while individual sessions cover what feels too personal for it.
Using both, and changing over time
The NCCN patient guide on distress describes individual counseling as an option instead of, or in addition to, group sessions. NCI notes that people's need for a support group can change over time, and that one bad experience with a group does not mean groups are a poor option for you. ACS suggests trying a couple of groups and using your own comfort level as a gauge of fit.
Many people start with whatever is easiest to reach and adjust from there. Someone might join a group during treatment for connection, then seek individual therapy once treatment ends and the feelings they postponed come forward. Someone else might begin in therapy and later feel ready for a group. Caregivers often follow their own pattern, joining a caregiver group for company and seeking individual sessions when guilt, exhaustion or anticipatory grief becomes hard to carry alone. There is no wrong order.
Finding either option near Franklin
Ask your cancer center or hospital social worker which groups they offer or recommend. In Oakland County, Gilda's Club Metro Detroit in Royal Oak describes itself as a free cancer support community, with support and networking groups led by licensed clinicians (248-577-0800). Cancer Support Resources in Oakland County and Michigan lists more options.
For one-on-one support, Dr. Lehmann is a licensed clinical psychologist in Franklin, Michigan, with an insight-oriented, integrative approach. Read about cancer-related emotional support, including telehealth sessions for clients physically located in Michigan. When you call, ask whether her practice is a good fit for your situation.